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Writer's pictureterrycornall

The Fermi Paradox Resolved

Updated: Jul 13, 2022

Fermi's Paradox wonders where is all the spam from alien civilizations, if planets that support life are as common as UFO abduction reports. One explanation is that good planets aren't common. Recent science discovering exoplanets left right and centre has gone a long way to disprove that, though evidence of a plethora of Goldilocks planets is not yet in, as far as I know. Another explanation is that technologically advanced life isn't common and we have yet to disprove that. (Although just looking around the Earth for intelligent life, the results are disappointing)

Another explanation is that the alien civs are all dead, extinct, gone to heaven long ago, but with light-speed limit being what it is, there'd surely still be advertisements for sexual apparatus enhancements from the far edges of the universe sloshing around the place, wouldn't there? And why would they all be extinct? Unless something is hunting them down and destroying them... possibly because of unlicensed spamming.

My personal explanation is that we aren't listening on the right physical medium. We've checked light, thermal, radio, microwave and are just now listening in on gravity waves. I'd like to think gravity waves would make a good, though slow, two-way conversation but it might need a couple of modulatable neutron stars to do it. Neutrino beams might be good too, for reasons of being effectively unstoppable due to low interaction with anything except gravity, though given that stars make them, maybe quite a bit of interference, once we crack how to detect them well.

However, I reckon we are missing something. Perhaps they've all discovered how to make Quantum Slood Dynamics work ( Slood | Discworld Wiki | Fandom) and are using that for instantaneous messaging, rather than waiting millennia for the other end of the call to say "Weeb're sorry, Trellum are in cryo-suspension at the moment. However, your call is important to ussen, so please leave a recording, and weeb'll get back to you in a few centuries."


This is how XKCD puts it. https://xkcd.com/638


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